Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Because that's the only way she will eat ;)

More on this fun topic later....

Saturday, February 22, 2014


We all have expectations of what our lives will look like and motherhood is no exception. I had great expectations of what my life after baby would look like and friends say it ain't so...

I thought I would have my baby on my schedule. Avery's on a schedule all right it's just her own. I read the books every three hours feed the baby. Wake eat play sleep. Someday sit works like that and somedays we wake eat sleep eat eat play eat play sleep... And it's ok. Nursing on demand worked really well for us too!

I said my baby would never be in our bed. Friends guess what makes traveling easier? Letting your kid sleep with you. Yup. First night in Florida Avery kept waking up in the portable crib and it was Mike who said just bring her to bed! So for the rest of the trip she slept in between us. Not ideal but neither are days that require you to function from 6am to 11pm with business colleagues. As much as I was against cosleeping it made the trip easier. Oh and as happy as we were to come home to our own bed Avery was equally as excited to sleep in her own crib again!

I thought I wouldn't be overrun  baby stuff. Wrong. Somedays it's truly suffocating! If anyone needs anything baby related call me!

I thought we would use a stroller. I even bought a fancy stroller in anticipation. Nope we carry her everywhere. In fact she hadn't even been in a stroller until we bought the one that matched her car seat to make going through the airport easier. Ring sling or ergo all the time.

We ate our words on our kid not liking/using a pacifier. To be fair she didn't like it at first and we were thrilled! Then we had a long car ride home from DC and she took one. She had just gotten her first two teeth and chewed and chewed it. We'll chewing eventually turned to sucking and by Christmas our baby liked a pacifier. Hoping it passes quickly!

I care more and I care less. I am more sensitive to other peoples feelings and needs. I'm not buying into the mommy war bull crap. What works for you may not work for me and visa versa. Breastfeeding works for us, non-toxic diapers, organic skin care and safe cleaning products were important to us, if it doesn't work for you or it's not important to you I'm ok with that! I still think you're a great mom!

Sometimes babies don't read the book. When my coworkers daughter was born a few years ago she didn't want to move, she wasn't crawling or walking at year. She's fine totally normal 3 year old. I decided I wasn't going to get caught up in the comparisons. Yes I do want to know what my fiends baby's are doing but if Avery isn't doing those things yet I'm ok.
I'm sure I'll have plenty more to add to the list but for now....

Saturday, November 16, 2013


When we found out we were going to have a baby one of our first thoughts was "what will the dogs think?". Sophie our 14 year old concerned us that she may lick the baby nonstop, while I love animals that's gross. And don't even try to tell me that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth. They eat poop. Anyway our real concern was Jake our 7 year old.

Our 7 year old who acts like a puppy. Who cries with anxiety when we leave, the dog who can be a little aggressive and doesn't generally love people. He loves his people fiercely but others? Eh not so much.

When we brought Avery home Sophie was completely uninterested as she is with most things these days. Jake was curious. He soon learned this new thing in his house had stinky diapers and he really like those. (Gag) At first he was just around her because that is where we were but then he began to want to be near the baby, if she laid on her paymat he would lay next to it watching her. Now she is one of his people. When we left them both at my parent's house recently he inspected everything my mom did with Avery. He would sit next to the bed and watch her play on it, followed them room to room constantly checking on "his baby". This morning I caught them just looking at each other, his head was down next to hers until he saw me come in and he looked up.

So thankful these two will be friends :)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


We survived.

I knew shots wouldn't be fun and they weren't.

She screamed. My baby who rarely cries, silent cried and then let out screams in pain. I cried. It was awful and thankfully over very quickly.

She was still whimpering when we got to the car to nurse. Poor little thing :(

She's now 11 pounds 7 ounces and 23 inches long!! Up almost 4 pounds from birth!

We got home where daddy was waiting and she snuggled him for a while. We gave her a dose of Tylenol and she went on like nothing had happened. She played on her mat and snuggled us while we watched ncis.

She fell asleep before her bath, normally I just wake her back up but I thought it might be better just to let her sleep. She slept til 12:30. When she woke up I was ready to nurse her and armed with more Tylenol which we skipped since she didn't seem to need it. She nursed and went right back to sleep!

Hopefully today goes well, we are packing Tylenol and preparing for the worst all while hoping for the best. I'm sure all she will need are snuggles from grandma & grandpa.

Monday, September 23, 2013


Tonight Avery feel asleep early. Instead of waking her to give her her nightly bath I let her sleep. Curled up on my chest she was passed out, milk drunk and I loved every second.

I let her lay there for far too long. Hours really. The house is a mess and there was plenty to do but I'm reminded of that poem about how "babies don't keep" and trying to let the other things go while I enjoy my girl.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Today was a day I was dreading. I didn't know how much I was dreading it until I could barely hold it together on the way to drop her off.

After all this is my baby! I have very literally poured myself into her for the last 11 months and for the last 5 weeks have changed every diaper and done every feeding (until Sunday when we realized crap she needs to take a bottle tomorrow!) and not been separated from her for more than an hour. (While visiting my grandfather in the hospital) And then the day comes when you have to leave them and go back to work. I never thought I would want to stay home as badly as I do.

I got to my mom's, (yes I am this dramatic about leaving her and she is with my own mother!) and nursed her a little before handing her off and making my way to work. I couldn't get myself together in the car. The tears just wouldn't stop!

I finally did walk inside and rushed to the back of the store to hide my blood shot eyes and breast pump. Once I felt situated enough I attempted to walk out on the sales floor, and failed three times. I was a hot mess and couldn't control the tears any time someone asked about the baby. Needless to say I was thankful I was off a little earlier and my week will be adjusted to what I can handle so I probably will not get 40 hours this week even if I work 7 days.

Also the bathroom at work doesn't have an outlet so Mike ran an extension cord to the bathroom so I could pump (awkward), and then I pumped again when I got to my parents since Avery had just taken a bottle. I really hope pumping works out for us! I was able to get 17 ounces yesterday which is enough for bottles for the next day and to add to the freezer stash! (Freezer stash is over 200 ounces)

Avery on the other hand did amazing. I'm pretty sure she didn't even miss me. (Knife to my fragile mom heart) She took two bottles from my mom! Sunday was the first time we were able to get her to take a bottle. We switched from avent bottles to Dr. Brown's and she took it. Shew!! We were very nervous about the bottle situation but it looks like it will go well.

After we got home she nursed all evening. It worried me a little but hopefully she just missed me and nursing & pumping will work for us. (Any suggestions on pumping/nursing are really appreciated and welcomed!!)

On to the next day. Hopefully I can keep it together better although I'm already teary eyed thinking about it.


Friday, September 6, 2013


Yesterday I woke up not feeling great as I pulled Avery in bed with me to nurse I thought about barricading myself in the house for the rest of day. The thought was short lived and we got up and got moving and started the day.

After the usual breakfast, make lunches clean the kitchen deal and a load of laundry washed and put away we headed to Easton. I stopped by a friends house and picked up the rock & play (greatest baby item?! Possibly!) and swing she was getting rid of. (My moms house will be over run with baby stuff too!) They both fit in the back of my suv (woohhoo) and I headed to St. Michaels to go the vet and weigh Avery.

Yes you read that correctly. I took my daughter to our vet to get an idea of what she weighs so we can try to figure out how much to pump and feed her next week when she has to take a bottle. Anyway I knew they had a baby scale, they're really good friends and it worked out perfectly. Avery is just over 10#s if you were wondering!

While I was hanging out at the vet hospital talking to the vet, his wife and the girls who work there, they pointed out my grandmother's dog was there. I knew the dog wasn't doing well, he hadn't been but since my grandfather was also sick and dying the dog had been second best these last few weeks.

The vet's wife & I left to go shopping and look for some things for Avery and my phone rang while we were out. I saw it was her husband and handed her the phone thinking he was looking for her. (She is notorious for having a dead cell phone) but he was calling to ask my grandmother's phone number and update me on the dog. He felt that the dog didn't have much time left and was in a great amount of pain.

I felt so badly for my grandmother, she has just buried her husband of 67 years and now the dog too? I texted the vet and asked him to let me know what she decided to do.

Just as I was on my way home he texted me back and said she had decided to put him down and was on her way in. I spun a u turn and headed back down to St Michaels. I got there just after she did and walked in the back and asked the girls what room she was in and went up front to find her.

As I opened the door I could see her crying. Crying for the dog and finally crying for my grandfather. I hugged her and we sat & said goodbye to Charlie. 

We said goodbye and sat there for a little bit. She thanked me a million times for being there.

My aunts had been there that day but headed home after lunch. My mom was at work. There was no way my grandmother would have asked anyone to go with her. But through little details we were all able to find out that she had taken the dog there, that he wasn't going to make it and she was going alone. We were all so thankful for our small town & God's hand in the details.